Okay before you read this, read this Unsupportive Parenting.
I wrote that post roughly 20 minutes ago and in that time I received some emails and texts from some of the most amazing and talented people I know thanking me for writing about unsupportive parents. Then proceed to tell me what their parents have said to them.
After getting straight A's at Northwestern University: "What took you so long?"
Asking how do I look?: "Beauty is a curse"
Talking potential baby names: "What makes you think you will have kids?"
Starting in theater: "We'd support you if you were talented like Ann Margaret"
Discussing having children: "Why would want to have kids and ruin your life the way they ruined mine?"
Discussing an upcoming audition: "Oh, you're still doing that?"
Angry yet? No? How about this:
An insanely talented writer/actor/director/producer friend of mine started an online television show including a character that he created (which is now insanely popular). At the premier, he looked around at the people in the audience who had made time to come see his premier and NOT A SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER was in the audience. NOT ONE. And they all live less than 15 minutes away.
I am going to be brutally honest. The first thing I did was call my mom and say thanks. Because of her I knew I could always be whatever and whoever I wanted to be.
Then, I cried...a LOT. I honestly didn't know that there were this many people like this out there. So please, please, PLEASE, be supportive to everyone you know. It may not be your dream, but it is someone's.
This is my big girl blog. If you are easily offended, go somewhere else.
There's a reason I've been able to come to a sort of peace with my mother now that she's in the end stages of dementia. Her support was spotty and always linked to her own self-image and how my behavior would reflect on her. Harsh, but true.
ReplyDeleteI've never pretended to be a perfect mom (far from it!). I've worked at it, without a lot of support from family. Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you fail. Just have to hope the successes outweigh the epic fails...